New Year's Resolutions

This year I read on a college friend's blog about resolutions.  Being "steadfast, firm." So, I opted for some New Year's Resolutions, rather than goals.  I set a high standard for myself at 15, but some of them are for my walk with the Lord, some for my marriage, some for my kids, and some just for me!  So here goes....

1.  Read through the Bible in a year
I've heard stories throughout my life from the Bible.  I've been involved in many Bible studies.  I've memorized some scripture.  But, this year, I really wanted to read the Bible cover to cover.  My prayer is to see God's character, and for Him to use this time to change me.

2. Encourage Dean daily and pray together
I made the pinterest frame "I love you because..." and I've been putting all the things that I love about it on it each night.  And, it goes without saying to pray together as a couple.  But, sometimes, it's so easy to get "too busy."  But those times are the times we need it the most....

3. Thankful Journal---Get over 1,000 things
So many people had told me how wonderful the book "One Thousand Gifts" was.  I am in the process of reading the book, and it truly is insightful and is changing my outlook considerable.  How humbly to realize that God is the same God whether I think things are the way I think they should be or not!  And He loves us, and wants what's best for us!

4. Read 10 books.
I love to read so this shouldn't be hard, but I wanted to try to amp up the reading.  Since I talk about colors and count to 8 all day, I thought this would be a good outlet to not lose my brain cells or vocabulary that I've accumulated.  (Not that it is much!)

5. Devotional Time with boys daily
We've set aside time each night before bedtime to read a Bible story as a family (or the boys and me if Dean is working or at band practice.)  We read the story and talk about what we're thankful for, pray, and sing.  Right now, I do most of the talking, but my prayer is that this time will begin to transform their hearts.  Aiden has started praying and singing, and even asking a few questions or making comments about Bible stories.

6. PLAY more
I know this is shocking to hear me admit...I'm too focused on "taking care of things" sometimes.  Yes, there's a time and place for being a good steward of what God has given me.  I want to have a place of calm for my husband and children.  But, they aren't little long, and we all have some kid in us!  So, I want to play more!  Get out, laugh, surprise my husband, surprise my kiddos!

7. Lose 25 pounds....keep it off
I know everyone says this!  Enough said.  But I joined Weight Watchers with my dad and Daddyjim.  It will be fun to all do it together!  Hopefully forming a new healthier lifestyle.

8.  Run a 1/2 marathon
I've said I wanted to do this for several years, but always thought I couldn't.  I'm going to train and run a 5K in April, and hopefully a 1/2 toward the late fall/end of the year!  My little brother really inspired me on this one!  He's about to run his 2nd FULL marathon in February..

9. Write one encouraging letter a week
As a "semi-retired" teacher, I discovered how you pour your soul and energy into a lot of little lives and often wonder if you are making a positive difference in their lives despite your mistakes.  So, I have a LOT of people in my life who have made a HUGE difference in making me the person that I am today.  Some family, some friends, some acquaintances, some educators.  I want them to hear about it.

10. Learn to sew
My grandmother, who we lost in August to cancer, was one of a kind!  God really used her.  She was the type of person who made ANYONE feel special, she would become best friends with the person who would most likely be overlooked by others.  She was an incredible seamstress!!  And, when she became really ill and couldn't do for others like she wanted to, she was doing two things.  She was making desserts, freezing them, and taking them to people on days she felt well.  She was also sewing all of her granddaughters, and granddaughters-in-law aprons.  I have it in my kitchen! I wanted to do this in her honor, and to remind myself to be a blessing to those around me like she was.

11. Daily Quiet Time
Self-explanatory.

12. Meaningful activity with boys several times weekly
This goes along with my challenge with my friend, Katie.  I want to do arts & crafts, teach them household chores, service, etc.

13. Take more pictures!
There was a time in my life that I felt like I was taking pictures and felt like I wasn't really living, but just shooting pictures to make it look like it was.  (Does that make sense?)  So I vowed to myself to start living.  I've done that!  But, I want evidence of my kiddos growing up!  So, I need to get better at this!

14. Pray before talking
If you know me, you know I worry!  I love everyone around me, and I think if I worry enough I can fix all of their problems and mine too!!  All in the sake of love!  :)  But God, who sees it all, loves them more than I do!  I'm going to pray instead of talking and worrying!  (Now, don't expect me to get perfect on this one before the end of the year....just looking for improvement!)

15. Remember birthdays!
If you know me, you know that I'm horrible at remembering birthdays!  Or, I might remember and think I've called.  Or I might have called, and forgotten to send a gift.  For those of you that I've hurt by this, I'm sorry!  It isn't a lack of love, I'm just not good at it!  I hope to get better this year!

I'd love to hear some of yours!  Blessings on you and your family in 2012!

Fun Challenge

A few weeks before Christmas my friend, Katie, and I made challenge to do something fun with our kiddos at home everyday.  I've wanted to be able to stay home with my kids for as long as I remember, way before having them.  The desire became even stronger after Aiden came along.  So, my husband has worked very hard for our family so that my dream for our children could be realized.  It is such a blessing to be with them all day to watch them grow and learn and play.  But, it's easy to let the busyness of taking care of a household choke out actually ENJOYING them.  So, my hope is to do something intentional each day in order to spend quality time each day.  I'm not the best picture taker so I haven't captured all of them on camera.  But here's the few that I did get.  So, occasionally I'll fill you in on what we've been doing to play together!  :)

 One day Daddy was off of work, so we golfed in the back yard.

 Aiden loves to create forts and tunnels in the living room, so we made a fort village this day and played in the floor off and on throughout the day.

 The traditional "decorating the Christmas tree" pictures.  Aiden was playing with Keegan's belly button, climbing up and down the ladder, and occasional putting a few ornaments on the tree.  He was squealing with excitement, which was so fun to watch!

 Aiden often spends time with his great grandfather, affectionately re-named D-Jo.  They like to go get haircuts, go for walks with "sticks", and play "Ephant" on DJo's phone.  What a sweet relationship that they have with each other!

 We were blessed enough to have snow early in December and again on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day.  Aiden and I went in the front yard to get acquainted with it, and Aiden learned to throw snowballs.  Then, later in the day we made a trip to Aunt Jayla's house to make a snowman.  He LOVED it!

 Salt dough ornaments.  He really enjoyed playing with the dough.  These are the unfinished products before the painting happened.

 Chocolate covered bananas was a yummy and fun activity!  He would say "dip, dip, dry" over and over.  It was precious!  And, of course, he loved the sampling after they were able to cool off.

 We love books at our house!  This teacher mama absolutely loves to read to my kiddos.  So, this particular day Aiden decided that he wanted to read to Keegan.  It was priceless.

 Sensory tubs were such a cool idea that I found online.  I just threw some oatmeal, elbow macaroni and measuring cups and scoops together.  He played in this nonstop for about an hour.  He really loved measuring and scooping the macaroni and oatmeal. 

 A huge slide on our drive to Corpus Christi to visit family.  He looked so grown up climbing to the top of this all by himself.  It was REALLY tall for a 2-year old. 

 Daddy and Aiden ran the movie booth at a toy drive for kids in Portland, Texas.  They had a blast!  Aiden was able to walk around and receive cookies, candies, presents, and books.  There were inflatables and the movie booth.  They served hot dogs, hot chocolate, cookies, and popcorn.  What a fun night for kids in the area!

"Grandma Connie," a special life-long friends of Dean's made a spice drop wreath with Aiden.  He loved helping a little, but eating the spice drops a lot!  It will be a fun tradition for him I'm sure!

What did I do today?

Okay, let me preface this post with the fact that I LOVE being home with my babies.  They bring so much joy to my day.  But, lately, with not having a job, I looked around the house and wondered why it was dirtier than when I was working full time.  I cried and moaned to Dean, who was patient with my whining, about the fact that I have no idea what I do all day.  I kept saying that I didn't know why I couldn't stay on top of things better.  So, to make myself feel better, I composed a list....and it was just this morning before lunch.

6:55 am Got up with Aiden and snuggled
7:05 Fed Keegan
Got Keegan dressed and put meds on his face
Got Aiden dressed
Brushed Aiden's hair and his teeth
Got Advent candy and vitamin
Refill the toilet paper that was low in the boys' bathroom
Start load #1 of laundry
Empty dishwasher
Reload dishwasher
Start ribs in crockpot for supper
Washed dishes
Fixed my hair and makeup
Put Keegan to sleep
9:00 Fold towels from dryer
Clean bathrooms
(slight interruption of carbon monoxide detector: discussion with Aiden that buttons on detector aren't toys.
Finish bathrooms
Read Aiden some books
Move clothes to dryer

Get dressed
Fold clothes, start load #2 of laundry
Get marker for Aiden
Organize art supplies in playroom
Clean marker off of Aiden's body
Put away markers
Fill diaper bag for an outing, put water in baby bottles
Talk to Aiden about stabbing furniture with his sword
Empty trash and put it in the garage
Make a bottle
Feed & Burp Keegan
Play patty-cake with Keegan
Play ride a little horsey with Aiden
Change both boys diapers
Clean out the bottle
Finish folding laundry from earlier
Get juice cup filled up for outing
Get Aiden's coat on
Put Keegan in carseat
Get both boys in the car
Start the car and head to the "Inflatable playground"

Okay, so I guess I DO something all day even though my "to-do" list keeps growing!  I'm trying to state the mantra that "time with boys is more important than a clean house" over and over.  I know these days are going to be gone before I know it!  They are already growing up faster than I ever imagined possible.  This is why I made a challenge with a friend to do something fun with them every single weekday!  Hopefully it will keep fun and enjoyment of my boys from getting lost in caring for them and our home.  So, we've been doing some type of fun project every day for the last couple of weeks.  I'll be posting pictures of our activities soon!  :) 

Childhood Friends

I'm thankful for the fact that God has given me two boys.  I always pictured myself having the "perfect American family."  I thought that my husband and I would have two kids, and there would be one boy and one girl.  But, as always, God knows what is doing, and He has given me exactly what I need.  And, I'm loving every, single minute of it!  I don't really know anything but boys...after all I grew up with two amazing, ornery brothers.  They definitely prepared me for the life with sons!  (Or at least started the preparation...)  My sons are oh, so much fun.  They are loud and rowdy, but life is FULL of laughter and surprises.  I've been praying since Aiden was born that God would bring him friends to be a good influence and loyal especially during the years that peers hold more influence that anyone else.  After watching how close my brothers were growing up, and still are, I realized that He has answered that prayer with our little Keegan. 

The boys have already started interacting with each other.  The other night we were sitting on the couch as a family reading books and visiting.  Keegan has always responded to Aiden's voice more than anyone else's.  But this particular night Aiden was making all kinds of sound effects.  Keegan would just laugh and coo and try to talk to him.  Aiden realized what was happening, and would just smile and laugh.  This went back and forth for a good stretch of time.  It melted my heart!  Aiden has also started doing "peek a boo" with Keegan.  Here's a short video clip of them playing together.

I know that there will be lots of disagreements throughout the years.  But, for now, I'm enjoying that Aiden is so loving and protective of his little brother.  And I hope that they grow closer and closer throughout the years.

Blood Blisters and Heart Wounds

This has been an eventful sick/injury week in our household.  Aiden is finally feeling back up to par today, which is wonderful!  He's been up and playing all morning.  So, we were reading books, playing play-doh and doing puzzles in the playroom.  All was well!  I explained to him that I had to go put Keegan down for a nap, asked him to stay in here (so that previously mentioned loud voice didn't wake the baby) and headed out.  The baby went down with no crying. Check. So I thought I would quickly run to the restroom in peace. 

Just as I sit down, I hear the loud, shrill cry that as a mother I never want to hear from another room.  It stops for one second then gets repeated.  It's obvious that my sweet little Aiden is in major pain.  So, I run down the hall as quickly as possible to check on him.  He's rolling in the floor and keeps picking up the toy he was playing with and throwing it down, yelling "NO!!!"  So, I use my best reasoning skills that the toy somehow hurt him.  I'm doing a quick look at him noticing that every bone seems intact, etc.  Of course, my maternal instincts automatically want to pick him up, hold him, and comfort him.  After all, he's my baby and he's hurt!  But, everytime I go to pick him up, he stiffens his whole body and cries louder.  I can't see what's wrong, and he won't let me get close enough to doctor whatever wound there is and comfort him.  Finally, I see that he has a bleeding blood blister on his lip and big bruise on his eyelid.  I had no choice but to let him lay there and cry until he let me pick him up.  I finally get him not to stiffen his body, but as soon as I try to hold him close and hug him, he starts flailing and in his pain he hits me away with both of his hands. 

Initially it makes my heart hurt.  After all, I love this child deeply.  I've always tried to be there when he needed me.  WHY WON'T HE LET ME HELP HIM?  DOESN'T HE KNOW I'LL MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER?  And then it hit me....

How many times have a played with a "forbidden toy" or gone my own way from the Lord?  And how many times in the process have I gotten my heart hurt?  And, when He came close to help bandage my wounds, I stiffen myself to reject His perfect comfort  How many times have a slapped His love away when I needed  healing the most? 

After a few minutes, I was able to doctor up the lip, get an ice pack, medicine, and some snuggling on the couch.  He fell asleep, comfortable, for a nap! 

Lord, help me to accept your love, rather than reject it, when I need it most.  Help me to remember that you love me, even when I mess up.  Help me to accept your complete, perfect healing of my wounds from my choices so that you can use my life for Your glory.  Thank you for sending me two precious gifts from you that are teaching me so much about your undying love for me.  Help me to love them with unconditional love.  I recognize that I can't do it on my own.  In Jesus name,

Psalm 34:18

Now, it's no fun to have a sick kiddo.  Aiden woke up and started running over 103 fever.  I found myself paying him more attention because of this.  (obviously.)  I made him a little bed of blankets on the couch, turned on his favorite movies all day, gave him a running supply of anything he wanted to drink, checked his temperature repeatedly, gave him the meds....you get the idea.  Now, I didn't love Aiden anymore on this day than any other day.  I simply wanted to be close since he needed me more.  I wanted to do everything in my power to make him feel better. 

It then occurred to me several verses that God gives me in the book of Psalm.  Psalm 34:18 "the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  And Psalm 146:3 "he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  It just reminded me that when I'm sick, whether emotionally, spiritually or physically I serve a God that loves me, is near, and I can call on Him for healing.  What a precious gift He has given us!  And the bonus?  Although I can't heal my children's wounds completely, I serve a God who can. 

The New "Normal"

I knew that life would never be the same the day that I brought Aiden home from the hospital.  There were sleepless nights, running to check if he was still breathing, worrying about every little detail.  I just couldn't imagine what I did with my time before he came along.  I had friends tell me that it was still like "being a married couple with only one child."  I laughed to myself when they would say that, thinking yeah right!  And then....Keegan came home from the hospital!  And I realized how right they truly were!  I kept asking my mom, "Why is Aiden so loud?"  And, she giggled and calmly told me he had always been like this!  It took 45 minutes to go anywhere, and that was just getting everyone loaded into the car and back!  I kept thinking to myself, "when will this get easier?"  And then, it hit me....this is my new normal!  Laugh and make messes.  Dance with toddlers in the living room.  Sit in the floor with spilled juice all around you.  Make trips to the ER before they turn two.  Clean up toys in the living room floor thousands of times per day. Explain that markers aren't for shoes or walls. Read the same books repeatedly. Make mad dashes for the video camera.  Worry when things get quiet for too long, as in two minutes. Thank God for these precious treasures.  Cry.  Laugh. Call friends and plead, "is this normal?" Make funny faces.  Learn the art of distraction.  Get giddy when your child says their first prayer.  Smile as you hear "God is so good" from the back seat.  And pray, pray, pray.  So, I invite you to take a sneak peek into what the real, day-to-day adventure of motherhood in my home looks like.  Just like any adventure it is exciting, scary and suspenseful.  It's a ton of fun, but you never know what is coming next.  So, welcome to coming along as I learn from "my new normal."