This has been an eventful sick/injury week in our household. Aiden is finally feeling back up to par today, which is wonderful! He's been up and playing all morning. So, we were reading books, playing play-doh and doing puzzles in the playroom. All was well! I explained to him that I had to go put Keegan down for a nap, asked him to stay in here (so that previously mentioned loud voice didn't wake the baby) and headed out. The baby went down with no crying. Check. So I thought I would quickly run to the restroom in peace.
Just as I sit down, I hear the loud, shrill cry that as a mother I never want to hear from another room. It stops for one second then gets repeated. It's obvious that my sweet little Aiden is in major pain. So, I run down the hall as quickly as possible to check on him. He's rolling in the floor and keeps picking up the toy he was playing with and throwing it down, yelling "NO!!!" So, I use my best reasoning skills that the toy somehow hurt him. I'm doing a quick look at him noticing that every bone seems intact, etc. Of course, my maternal instincts automatically want to pick him up, hold him, and comfort him. After all, he's my baby and he's hurt! But, everytime I go to pick him up, he stiffens his whole body and cries louder. I can't see what's wrong, and he won't let me get close enough to doctor whatever wound there is and comfort him. Finally, I see that he has a bleeding blood blister on his lip and big bruise on his eyelid. I had no choice but to let him lay there and cry until he let me pick him up. I finally get him not to stiffen his body, but as soon as I try to hold him close and hug him, he starts flailing and in his pain he hits me away with both of his hands.
Initially it makes my heart hurt. After all, I love this child deeply. I've always tried to be there when he needed me. WHY WON'T HE LET ME HELP HIM? DOESN'T HE KNOW I'LL MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER? And then it hit me....
How many times have a played with a "forbidden toy" or gone my own way from the Lord? And how many times in the process have I gotten my heart hurt? And, when He came close to help bandage my wounds, I stiffen myself to reject His perfect comfort How many times have a slapped His love away when I needed healing the most?
After a few minutes, I was able to doctor up the lip, get an ice pack, medicine, and some snuggling on the couch. He fell asleep, comfortable, for a nap!
Lord, help me to accept your love, rather than reject it, when I need it most. Help me to remember that you love me, even when I mess up. Help me to accept your complete, perfect healing of my wounds from my choices so that you can use my life for Your glory. Thank you for sending me two precious gifts from you that are teaching me so much about your undying love for me. Help me to love them with unconditional love. I recognize that I can't do it on my own. In Jesus name,
No comments:
Post a Comment