Childhood Friends

I'm thankful for the fact that God has given me two boys.  I always pictured myself having the "perfect American family."  I thought that my husband and I would have two kids, and there would be one boy and one girl.  But, as always, God knows what is doing, and He has given me exactly what I need.  And, I'm loving every, single minute of it!  I don't really know anything but boys...after all I grew up with two amazing, ornery brothers.  They definitely prepared me for the life with sons!  (Or at least started the preparation...)  My sons are oh, so much fun.  They are loud and rowdy, but life is FULL of laughter and surprises.  I've been praying since Aiden was born that God would bring him friends to be a good influence and loyal especially during the years that peers hold more influence that anyone else.  After watching how close my brothers were growing up, and still are, I realized that He has answered that prayer with our little Keegan. 

The boys have already started interacting with each other.  The other night we were sitting on the couch as a family reading books and visiting.  Keegan has always responded to Aiden's voice more than anyone else's.  But this particular night Aiden was making all kinds of sound effects.  Keegan would just laugh and coo and try to talk to him.  Aiden realized what was happening, and would just smile and laugh.  This went back and forth for a good stretch of time.  It melted my heart!  Aiden has also started doing "peek a boo" with Keegan.  Here's a short video clip of them playing together.

I know that there will be lots of disagreements throughout the years.  But, for now, I'm enjoying that Aiden is so loving and protective of his little brother.  And I hope that they grow closer and closer throughout the years.

Blood Blisters and Heart Wounds

This has been an eventful sick/injury week in our household.  Aiden is finally feeling back up to par today, which is wonderful!  He's been up and playing all morning.  So, we were reading books, playing play-doh and doing puzzles in the playroom.  All was well!  I explained to him that I had to go put Keegan down for a nap, asked him to stay in here (so that previously mentioned loud voice didn't wake the baby) and headed out.  The baby went down with no crying. Check. So I thought I would quickly run to the restroom in peace. 

Just as I sit down, I hear the loud, shrill cry that as a mother I never want to hear from another room.  It stops for one second then gets repeated.  It's obvious that my sweet little Aiden is in major pain.  So, I run down the hall as quickly as possible to check on him.  He's rolling in the floor and keeps picking up the toy he was playing with and throwing it down, yelling "NO!!!"  So, I use my best reasoning skills that the toy somehow hurt him.  I'm doing a quick look at him noticing that every bone seems intact, etc.  Of course, my maternal instincts automatically want to pick him up, hold him, and comfort him.  After all, he's my baby and he's hurt!  But, everytime I go to pick him up, he stiffens his whole body and cries louder.  I can't see what's wrong, and he won't let me get close enough to doctor whatever wound there is and comfort him.  Finally, I see that he has a bleeding blood blister on his lip and big bruise on his eyelid.  I had no choice but to let him lay there and cry until he let me pick him up.  I finally get him not to stiffen his body, but as soon as I try to hold him close and hug him, he starts flailing and in his pain he hits me away with both of his hands. 

Initially it makes my heart hurt.  After all, I love this child deeply.  I've always tried to be there when he needed me.  WHY WON'T HE LET ME HELP HIM?  DOESN'T HE KNOW I'LL MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER?  And then it hit me....

How many times have a played with a "forbidden toy" or gone my own way from the Lord?  And how many times in the process have I gotten my heart hurt?  And, when He came close to help bandage my wounds, I stiffen myself to reject His perfect comfort  How many times have a slapped His love away when I needed  healing the most? 

After a few minutes, I was able to doctor up the lip, get an ice pack, medicine, and some snuggling on the couch.  He fell asleep, comfortable, for a nap! 

Lord, help me to accept your love, rather than reject it, when I need it most.  Help me to remember that you love me, even when I mess up.  Help me to accept your complete, perfect healing of my wounds from my choices so that you can use my life for Your glory.  Thank you for sending me two precious gifts from you that are teaching me so much about your undying love for me.  Help me to love them with unconditional love.  I recognize that I can't do it on my own.  In Jesus name,

Psalm 34:18

Now, it's no fun to have a sick kiddo.  Aiden woke up and started running over 103 fever.  I found myself paying him more attention because of this.  (obviously.)  I made him a little bed of blankets on the couch, turned on his favorite movies all day, gave him a running supply of anything he wanted to drink, checked his temperature repeatedly, gave him the meds....you get the idea.  Now, I didn't love Aiden anymore on this day than any other day.  I simply wanted to be close since he needed me more.  I wanted to do everything in my power to make him feel better. 

It then occurred to me several verses that God gives me in the book of Psalm.  Psalm 34:18 "the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."  And Psalm 146:3 "he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."  It just reminded me that when I'm sick, whether emotionally, spiritually or physically I serve a God that loves me, is near, and I can call on Him for healing.  What a precious gift He has given us!  And the bonus?  Although I can't heal my children's wounds completely, I serve a God who can. 

The New "Normal"

I knew that life would never be the same the day that I brought Aiden home from the hospital.  There were sleepless nights, running to check if he was still breathing, worrying about every little detail.  I just couldn't imagine what I did with my time before he came along.  I had friends tell me that it was still like "being a married couple with only one child."  I laughed to myself when they would say that, thinking yeah right!  And then....Keegan came home from the hospital!  And I realized how right they truly were!  I kept asking my mom, "Why is Aiden so loud?"  And, she giggled and calmly told me he had always been like this!  It took 45 minutes to go anywhere, and that was just getting everyone loaded into the car and back!  I kept thinking to myself, "when will this get easier?"  And then, it hit me....this is my new normal!  Laugh and make messes.  Dance with toddlers in the living room.  Sit in the floor with spilled juice all around you.  Make trips to the ER before they turn two.  Clean up toys in the living room floor thousands of times per day. Explain that markers aren't for shoes or walls. Read the same books repeatedly. Make mad dashes for the video camera.  Worry when things get quiet for too long, as in two minutes. Thank God for these precious treasures.  Cry.  Laugh. Call friends and plead, "is this normal?" Make funny faces.  Learn the art of distraction.  Get giddy when your child says their first prayer.  Smile as you hear "God is so good" from the back seat.  And pray, pray, pray.  So, I invite you to take a sneak peek into what the real, day-to-day adventure of motherhood in my home looks like.  Just like any adventure it is exciting, scary and suspenseful.  It's a ton of fun, but you never know what is coming next.  So, welcome to coming along as I learn from "my new normal."